sking for help is not an easy thing to do for most women and too many women feel societal pressure to be a Supermom. By the way, who came up with that term anyway? For hundreds and thousands of years, women had a multigenerational support network when it came to raising their children. There were times when women rested for 30 days, had their feet rubbed with oil and allowed other women to help care for their baby after giving birth. I seem to have missed that era and my feet were certainly not rubbed with oil after I gave birth! Now days we are such a transient population that many women don't even live within driving distance of their relatives and most likely don't have a big support network where they live. What happened to supporting mothers and how do we get it back? We need to begin to ask for help and willingly give help and now is the time to start.
Let's start by asking your spouse for help. Most husbands want to help now that you are pregnant but they just don't know what to do. You need to be very clear in the type of help you want from your husband---he is not a mindreader. Start by discussing specific ways in which he can help you; doing the laundry, running some extra errands, allowing you time to nap, etc. The most important thing you must remember when you ask him for help is that you are not the gatekeeper. He will do tasks differently than you and you have to be okay with that. If you begin to criticize the way he is helping you, you will lose his willingness to support you. On the other hand, if he doesn't know how to do something such as the laundry, post a simple sheet of directions in the laundry room that he can refer to. Finally, remember to tell him that you appreciate his help.
Asking for help is really not that difficult; it's all in the way you do it. Begin changing the Supermom mentality today.
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