In the Beginning: Find Help

Now that you are more inclined to seek out help, let's find another avenue for help.

Food and meal preparation seem to rank right up there as something we know is important and really need but, forget to find a way to make it easier. I've already blogged about how eating healthy during your pregnancy is important to the baby and your body but it also helps increase your energy. Now it's time to talk about how to make grocery shopping and meal preparation easier.

Call your local grocer and ask if they have home delivery or pick up capabilities. There is usually a small charge for this service but you can select your items on-line at your convenience. If you are very particular about your groceries, this may not be ideal for you. However, it can be incredibly helpful to someone who is bedridden or just doesn't feel up to a grocery trip. The difference between home delivery and pick up is very small. Home delivery brings your order directly to your home and most of the time delivers it right to your kitchen. A pick up order means that your groceries will be selected and bagged but you pick them up at the grocery store. Most major drug stores also have online shopping services available and the items are delivered to you through the postal system.

Food preparation assistance may also be needed especially if you are experiencing smell sensitivity, are bedridden or just too pregnant to move around. Begin preparing meals that can be stored in the freezer when you are still feeling comfortable to move around. When you prepare a daily meal, make twice as much and put the extra portion in the freezer. Invite friends over to help you prepare several meals for the freezer or have a baby shower and the gifts are meals you can place right in your freezer. (You will want to bring some coolers filled with ice to that shower.) There are many recipes online and cookbooks that can help you prepare meals for the freezer it's just a matter of looking for them.

Buy your grocery stores homemade meals that just need to be warmed up or from the salad bar. There are also business who create homemade meals for the freezer. Some of these businesses are owned by former restaurant chefs who want to work from home. Many of them also provide meals for special dietary needs. See what's available near you.

When you bring your little one home from the hospital you will want to continue eating healthy but it may not be so easy. Take some time now to discover how to make it easier for you and remember to ask others for help.

In the Beginning: Find Help

Asking for help is not an easy thing to do for most women and too many women feel societal pressure to be a Supermom. By the way, who came up with that term anyway?

For hundreds and thousands of years, women had a multigenerational support network when it came to raising their children. There were times when women rested for 30 days, had their feet rubbed with oil and allowed other women to help care for their baby after giving birth. I seem to have missed that era and my feet were certainly not rubbed with oil after I gave birth! Now days we are such a transient population that many women don't even live within driving distance of their relatives and most likely don't have a big support network where they live. What happened to supporting mothers and how do we get it back? We need to begin to ask for help and willingly give help and now is the time to start.

Let's start by asking your spouse for help. Most husbands want to help now that you are pregnant but they just don't know what to do. You need to be very clear in the type of help you want from your husband---he is not a mindreader. Start by discussing specific ways in which he can help you; doing the laundry, running some extra errands, allowing you time to nap, etc. The most important thing you must remember when you ask him for help is that you are not the gatekeeper. He will do tasks differently than you and you have to be okay with that. If you begin to criticize the way he is helping you, you will lose his willingness to support you. On the other hand, if he doesn't know how to do something such as the laundry, post a simple sheet of directions in the laundry room that he can refer to. Finally, remember to tell him that you appreciate his help.

Asking for help is really not that difficult; it's all in the way you do it. Begin changing the Supermom mentality today.

In the Beginning: Why?

Are you wondering why I wrote the previous blogs? You're pregnant and feeling joyous at the upcoming birth of your child which is exactly what you are supposed to be doing. But, it is also important to take care of yourself during your pregnancy. Mothering is an incredibly stressful and demanding career but as the old saying goes, "when Mom's happy, everyone's happy". For your child to feel joy and happiness, it is important for you to feel good about, and take care of yourself starting right now.

When I was pregnant, I had absolutely no idea what pregnancy and having a child entailed. My support group was limited because I was the first of my friends to have a baby and they knew about as much as I did...NOTHING. Of course I read all of the books and did everything I could to take care of my baby but did nothing to take care of myself. No one really told me how important that would be in raising my children. Looking back, I would have done many things very differently. I know it would have made a difference in my physical and mental well-being after my baby was born.

So now, why did I write this blog? Because I want you to begin looking for people to support you in a variety of ways and I want you to take care of yourself from the inside out. Don't be afraid to ask for and accept help. It doesn't make you need or helpless, it makes you healthy. Another reason for writing this blog was for people who know moms-to-be. Take time to support a pregnant friend or family member by doing something simple to ease their daily stress. We all know pregnant women get lots of advice but what they really need is loving, hands-on support that benefits their daily life.

I'm off to call my pregnant friend to see if I can watch her oldest child while she gets some needed rest. What can you do?

Next in the series: In the Beginning: Find Help

In the Beginning: Sleep

Once your child is born, sleep will become a luxury. I'm not suggesting that you start making up for the sleep you will loose when your little one arrives but, you need to start listening to your body now.

Begin your sleep routine early in your pregnancy by setting a regular bedtime and get up at the same time each day. As your pregnancy progresses, you need to be aware that your body will need more restful time. Give your body what it needs and adjust your sleep times as needed.

Towards the end of your pregnancy you will be getting up several times during the night to use the bathroom and, you will loose the restful sleep you have been used to before you were pregnant. Because you are not sleeping well, it's important to take time during the day to rest or sleep. Your body is preparing itself for labor.

If you are pregnant and have children, find someone to watch your children while you take some time to rest during the day. If you know a pregnant woman who has children, offer to watch her children while she sleeps. Be ready to insist if she says no.

Those of you who are pregnant for the first time, enjoy this time to sleep. You will never sleep the same after your child is born.

In the Beginning: Food

Now that I'm back from vacation and have Internet access, I'm ready to blog again.

I have been blogging on the theme of "Teach Your Children Well" which starts with you. By setting a good example for your children you will not only improve your health and wellness but also your child's.

Food is a big part of pregnancy. Moms enjoy sharing their pregnancy cravings, some women think they can eat anything and as much as they want because they are pregnant, morning sickness can effect your eating and the extra weight can be difficult to lose after your baby is born. Food is a very important topic to discuss with your physician and something women should think about and create a plan for during their pregnancy.

I am petite woman with a very fast metabolism and when I was pregnant with my first child I didn't think about what I ate. I had severe morning sickness and carried crackers or baby cookies in coat pockets, my purse, in the car, etc. Once the morning sickness subsided, the eating frenzy began! My husband likes to tell the story of how I ate an Arby's meal on the way home from work then polished off 1/2 of a large pizza. Funny yes, healthy no! During this pregnancy, I gained over 40 pounds. On a person of my height, I looked like I had a swallowed more than a few basketballs.

Looking back on all of my pregnancies, I wished I had devised a plan for how I ate during the nine months. Eating healthier during my pregnancies would have given me more energy, I would have had less back pain from the extra unnecessary weight, and would have had less difficulty losing my baby weight. Seeking support from my husband would also have helped my eating habits. Since I didn't have an eating plan my husband went right along with me, allowing me to eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, as much as I wanted. I'm sure my hormones would have caused me to scream at him if he suggested I eat fruit instead of a huge bowl of ice cream but, if I had a plan, his support would have been easier to accept.

As a mom-to-be, take some time to think through your food choices for you and your baby during your pregnancy. Find a few people to be your support network and let them know about your plan. If you know a pregnant woman, support her by bringing her some cut up fruit or a healthy dinner. Even making your own healthy choices when you are eating with a mom-to-be can be a healthy way to support her.

Your plan doesn't have to be formal or written and it should allow for flexibility. Create a support network and inform them of your plan and how you would like them to help you. Eating well is good for you and good for your baby.

In the Beginning: Exercise

Most women dread this word whether they are pregnant or not. Exercise. We always find some excuse as to why we can't exercise; I'm too tired, I don't have any exercise clothes, I don't have time, I don't like to exercise and the list goes on. I'm sure I've used all of the excuses to get out of exercising.

Now that you are pregnant, it's a good time to put all of those excuses behind you and start an exercise routine. Exercise doesn't have to be difficult or take a long but most of all it has to be fun. Ten minutes a day is a good place to start. Try putting on your favorite music and dance around the house, take a walk with a friend or your husband, spend some time stretching, or window shopping in the mall. Even magazines have ideas for simple exercises you can do in ten minutes or less.

We all know the benefits of exercise for yourself and your unborn child. You will be happy that you took only ten minutes out of your day to energize yourself and improve the health of your child.

In The Beginning: Slow Down

Pregnancies vary for all women. Some women have smooth, uneventful pregnancies and others have difficult ones. No matter which type of pregnancy you have, it's time to slow down from the very beginning. Your life will never be the same after you have your baby whether it is your first child or your fifth.

When I Googled "slow down during pregnancy" I received several hits; slow down weight gain, your hormones slow down, baby's bowel movements slow down, slow down at the end of your pregnancy. There was absolutely nothing on slowing down and smelling the roses during your entire pregnancy.

Here are things I could have slowed down on when I was pregnant.

Work

My career as a teacher was very fulfilling and gratifying and I enjoyed watching my students learn. However, because I am so right brained, I spent hours and hours creating intricate ways to display my students work, making every worksheet and note home "cute" with just the right clip art and headings. I also lacked a sound organizational plan which caused extra hours of work just to get organized. Looking back I could have performed my job with the precision it needed by sticking with the basics and making an organizational plan and sticking to it.

Trying To Be Perfect

None of my pregnancies were particularly easy and nine months seems like an eternity when you are sick most of the time. In addition to working too much I spent too much time worrying about being the perfect mother and appearing as if I had everything together in my life. Looking back I wish I had slowed down enough to enjoy the moments with my husband and children before each new baby arrived. Our lives are never the same after a new baby joins the clan.

Guilt

I have a real knack for feeling guilty. When I was tired from my pregnancy or from being up all night with a child, I felt guilty for taking time to rest or nap. I felt I had to do this or that or read, color and take my kids to the playground all at once. Looking back I wished I had slowed down and taken time for myself. Yes, it sometimes seems like a guilty pleasure but, in caring for ourselves, we show our children the importance of taking care of our body and it creates healthier relationships with our family.

Now that my family is complete, I wish I had those times back to enjoy. But because of these life lessons, I have become a better mother and find little ways to help other mothers enjoy their pregnancy. What can you share with a mom-to-be that helps her slow down and enjoy each moment before her baby arrives?

Teach Our Children Well: In the Beginning

The beginning of being a mother starts the moment you become pregnant. As an expectant mom your immediate thoughts are that you want to take care of your child to ensure that your baby is healthy and happy. But did you know that it all begins with taking care of youself?

When I was pregnant with my first child, I read about how important it was to rest, eat healthy, and exercise however, I really didn't take it to heart and I didn't have a network of other women to encourage me to change my lifestyle. I had always been petite, loved to eat and always had too much to do to be able to rest or exercise. Unfortunately, it all took a toll on me. I gained a lot of weight, went back to work too soon, and was constantly stressed and exhausted. It took me years to recover from the exhaustion, anxiety and constant struggle to keep up as a mother and wife. Worst of all, I didn't take the time to enjoy my daughter's infancy stage and felt like a complete failure as a mother.

Somehow, when we become a mother, we begin to think of ourselves last when really we need to put ourselves first. So let's start at the very beginning; the first step in becoming a happy and healthy mom...Simplify!

Even if you are in your first trimester, begin to simplify your life right now. For some women this could mean putting off the housework, not taking on anymore activities, bringing less work home from the office, taking a walk outside as opposed to going to the noisy gym, or just decluttering a room. Another way many moms-to-be get overwhelmed is by searching for information about babies in books and on the internet. Simplify this process by finding one baby book or website

that works for you. Babycenter.com is one of my favorites for comprehensive and quality information. Once you register (it's free), they automatically email you information that is relevant only to the stage you are at in your pregnancy.

Start simplifying today by creating a list of things that seem to be causing you stress. Choose one thing from that list to simplifying and practice it for a week or two so that it is ingrained in your daily life. Then select another task to simplify and begin to practice it. By the time your baby arrives you will have taken steps to simplify your life so that you can enjoy your beautiful, new baby.

Teach Our Children Well

I have decided to change the way I blog. Instead of selecting random topics to blog about, I am going deeply focus on raising our children through multiple postings. The overall theme of the blogs will be "Teach Our Children Well" and will discuss topics on raising our children from before they are born/infancy, to the toddler years, preschool and into the elementary school years. Even though there will be a new posting everyday, this endeavor will take many weeks and even months to complete. I hope that you will add your comments, thoughts and suggestions to the blog that can be shared with other mothers.

Everything we do and say as parents sets an example for our children and molds them into the adult they will become. And although you may be past the stage I am blogging about, take the time to read the post and pass the information on to a mother you know who may be struggling at this stage. Mothers do not need to mother alone. We need to support and encourage one another every step of the way. Every mother needs a Momtourage.