The Best Christmas Ever

For the past three days, all I have been saying is that this was the best Christmas I had ever had. Not only am I saying this but so are my husband and my three kids! This got me thinking about why this Christmas was so different than any other Christmas I have celebrated.

I tend to be a little stressed when it comes to the holiday season and decide that everything has to be perfect, or better, than the year before. I have no idea where this thought process came from but I'm sure my husband has a few ideas... This year, for some reason, I didn't have any desire to create a celebration that would top the year before. My only desire was to enjoy the holidays. 

Usually, I am the only one who decorates and prepares for the holidays but, this year I insisted everyone pitch in which meant that I had to release some control on how things were done. Only a few lights went up and half of them didn't work but that didn't seem to matter. My mom helped put up some of my holiday decorations and it went so much faster with an extra set of hands. My gift list was ready to go and my shopping, wrapping and mailing was done by early December. I baked several batches of cookies while my kids helped or entertained themselves without arguing. On Christmas Eve Day, we all worked together to prepare the food for that night and we had a great time together! Christmas Eve was spent together, just the five of us, enjoying Christmas service, laughing and just being together. 

The kids hadn't been this excited about a visit from Santa in years and I think the fact that they helped in the preparations helped create this excitement. Christmas Day was filled with relaxation, more time enjoying each other, and playing with new toys. As the day wore on I had planned to cook a wonderful dinner for my family. Instead, we ended up going out for Chinese food just like the family in "The Christmas Story". After that, we drove around for a couple of hours and looked at the Christmas lights. 

I never imagined that Christmas could be so enjoyable and even a little untraditional. But I think that the help I received from my family throughout the season eased the stress I always feel and everyone was so proud of the little things they did to help. I still didn't get my Christmas cards out on time this year...maybe next year.

Oeir reaction when they opened 

Tightening the Grocery Belt

It has been a long time since I last posted and, like everyone else, my life has turned busy during this holiday time. However, yesterday I discovered a new way to grocery shop and had to share it with you. But before you go on, this blog may not be for everyone. If you don't like a little challenge, a few constraints and a little extra work when it comes to grocery shopping, then you might want to stop reading right now.

Earlier this month I was reading a local parenting magazine and came across an article about "The Grocery Game". In short, a woman has turned her hobby of clipping coupons and saving money at the grocery store into an online business. The idea of the business is to join for $10 a month and you can receive a list of specials at your local grocery store, which coupons to clip, where to find the coupons and the best products to stock up on. I am incredibly skeptical when it comes to programs like these so I wasn't going to jump on board right away. I know that I don't like to work hard when it comes to grocery shopping and I didn't believe I was going to make up the $10 from the membership fee. However, the business I am in made me reconsider trying this grocery game once or twice. 

Yesterday, I signed up for the trial membership which is $1 for four weeks of grocery lists to as many of your local stores as you wished. I decided to get my money's worth and signed up for two grocery stores and two nationwide drugstores. I received four lists of published and non-published sale items for each store. It took me a little while to understand the color coding on the lists, coupon shorthand and to print the lists. Since this was my first time playing the game, I spent about two hours studying the lists, deciding what I was going to buy and finding and clipping some of the matching coupons. Two hours was really more time than I wanted to spend but I wanted to maximize my trial experience.

Today was shopping day! I decided to shop at the four stores I selected and also visit a small discount grocer that I like. It seemed like a daunting task to have five shopping lists, coupons for each store and yet not spend all day doing my grocery shopping. Believe it or not, I actually made it through all five stores in less than two hours and made it home with at least 10% more groceries than I usually purchase. That being said, I couldn't wait to see how much money I had really saved; ever the skeptic.

As I reviewed the grocery receipts, I made a mental note that I had purchase a few items that were not on "The Grocery Game's" list but that I still needed. I also considered that the most I had ever saved on a weeks worth of groceries using sales and coupons was about $25. Anxiously I added the five receipts together and calculated that I had spent $208.96. Not bad for a week of groceries which included 10% more items that usual. Next came the real truth...how much did I actually save? Remember, the savings amount included purchasing advertised items listed on "The Grocery Game" and coupons. My grand total savings from the five stores was $99.65! I was absolutely astonished. Had I not played the game and purchased the same items, I would have spent $308.61! I still can't believe it and, the food I bought was food we normally eat, not a lot of junk food and included meats, fruits and vegetables. Saving 32% on my grocery bill made me incredibly excited and even giddy.

Like I said before, this isn't for everyone and it may not be a long term game for me. The game encourages buying multiple food items when it is inexpensive (which may eventually become difficult when I run out of storage space), shopping every week (which may or may not happen), and remembering that you should only buy what your family will use. They also said that you will need to play the game for a few weeks before you actually begin to see your grocery bill decline. 

Even though this whole trial required some extra work, the payoff was well worth it. I'm sure that next week will be less time consuming and I'm already looking forward to see if I can save even more on my next grocery trip! No wonder it's called "The Grocery Game".

Making Men Part of Your Parenting Network

    I have been enjoying several books about mothers, parenting and women's issues to continue gaining knowledge for my business. All of them have been wonderful and all of them have basically the same themes: Mothering is hard and we're not alone in the feelings that we have about mothering. Although I know both of these ideas very well, it's always reassuring to know that other women are feeling the same way about raising children. 

Since I began mothering 13 years ago, I have been growing a network of individuals who have supported me and let me know that I am not alone in raising my children.  I am incredibly blessed to have a group of men and women on whom I can call upon to help me grow as a mother. Yes, I did say men too. My husband is my greatest asset and strongest supporter in my network. He has a very easy going personality and always thinks before he reacts. I appreciate how much he balances my parenting techniques and he provides me with a new perspective on my children. He constantly thinks of special ways that he can spend time with each of our kids individually or together and he is always eager to help them when they are in need of a listening ear. 

There are other men who are friends of mine that I also look to for support. These individuals provide a male point of view on raising children and it is usually very different than a woman's point of view.  The main thing I have learned from these men is that it is of utmost importance to spend quality time with your children and don't sweat the small stuff. They remind me that my laundry will be there tomorrow but my children will only be young once. These men set good examples by putting aside their work, phones and other distractions to play and talk with their children on a regular basis. And yes, they are all active participants in the daily household tasks but they desire to build a strong relationship with their kids. 

Yesterday, I decided to make more of an effort to follow the lead of these strong men who support me. After my kids get home from school, it is now time for me to put away my work and turn off my computer. I am making a conscience decision to follow the lead of my children and play, listen, read, or snuggle with them. They are only young once and I want to enjoy it while I can. I am grateful for the lessons these men have taught me but most of all, I'm glad that they are part of my parenting network.

With A Little Help From a Friend-or a Stranger

   On Friday, I was picking up a premade dinner at the grocery store around 5:30 pm so that my family could have a meal that resembled something I would have liked to have made from scratch.  Many of the people who frequent this particular grocery store around this time of day have just finished a full day of work and are trying to grab some items to put together a meal for their family. Additionally, many of these working men and women are accompanied by their small children who have been just been picked up from daycare. It is an exhausting time of day for everyone.

As the cashier was ringing up my groceries, I noticed a woman three lanes down. She had on her business casual attire and was unloading several items from the bottom of her cart. This may not seem like a difficult task, however she had her sweet toddler asleep on her shoulder. I watched this mother struggle under the weight of the child, trying to use one arm to hold him so his head or body wouldn't shift and awaken him as she emptied the contents at the bottom of her basket. She successfully emptied her basket and her little one never woke up. 

I have thought about that woman for the last several days and wondered, why didn't I help her out? Why didn't the people around her help take her groceries out of the cart for her? Although I was three aisles away from her, I could have helped her and dismissed the scornful looks I would have received from the people waiting in line behind me. She didn't have that many things and it would have only taken a few seconds. 

After mulling over this situation quite a bit, I have decided to keep it in the forefront of my mind. I have made a commitment to try and reach out in a small way to another mother at least once a day. It could be as simple as a holding the door for a woman with a stroller to watching a friend's child for a few hours so that she can have a break.  All mothers need a simple act of kindness once in awhile and maybe the mother we assist will pay it forward and we will start a new trend.

First Steps

There's a first time for everything. Remember the first time you found out you were pregnant, the first day you brought your baby home or the first time they went to school. These were exciting times in a mom's life; albeit a little frightening too.

Right now I am in the midst of a major first and it has nothing to do with my children accomplishing anything. As a quick side note, I am excited to say that this is my first blog site and I didn't have to have my kids help me navigate through all of the set up! But my personal most exhilarating first, that has taken over my days and nights, is when I started my own business. Now I know that many women/mothers do this everyday but, when it is your own venture into a new world the excitement bubbles up around you.

When I had my first baby thirteen years ago, I had no idea how unprepared I was to raise a child. I was 1500 miles away from family, had just moved into a new city, had no support system in place and my husband and I started new jobs 5 weeks after our daughter was born. I often questioned my choices and I was sure I was the only mother who had such tremendous difficulty raising a child. I never reached out to other mothers for help because I thought I would not be considered  a "good" mother. As I had more children and became more involved in preschool, etc., I watched and talked with other mothers and saw that they went through the same issues I did. Over the years, I have enjoyed reaching out to other women for support and in return supporting them. Through these efforts, I have built incredible friendships, raised three fantastic kids and gained a plethora of wisdom along the way. I have learned that strong and diverse support system is an important part of motherhood and that it really does take a village.

So, now I have decided to reach out to the women in my community through my new business. The goal of my business is to bring women together to collaborate on ways to support each other and be good to themselves through the ever changing stages of parenting. My dream for the women who attend the various workshops I offer is for them to feel strong and confident as mothers who will then pay it forward by surrounding other mothers with a supportive network on whom they can rely. 

It has taken several years to get build my business but, it all started with a first step. Building and maintaining a strong network takes some time and effort but it, too, starts with a first step. Will you take your first step today?