In the Beginning: Get Well Informed

It has taken me a long time to write this blog, and I think that's because it hits so close to home. Baby blues and postpartum depression are very real and something every expectant mom should know about before they delivering their baby.

When your baby finally arrives, everyone will be thrilled with the new addition to your family....except you. Don't let this bother you. Most mothers, and fathers, aren't instantly infatuated with their new child. The media has warped our sense of motherhood and the reality of new mothers' connections to their babies. However, it is important for all mothers to be aware of healthy and unhealthy signs of attachment after their child is born.

While researching this topic, I discovered that I actually suffered from baby blues after my first child and postpartum depression after my second child. My doctor gave me medicine after my first delivery but didn't really explain what the medicine was for and I discontinued using it after I "felt better". After delivering my second child, it took me five months and a lot of scary symptoms before I went looking for help. Once I found the help I needed, I finally got my life back to normal. However, until this blog I never knew that the symptoms I was exhibiting were actually signs of postpartum depression. I wish had learned more about this aspect of pregnancy before I delivered my babies.

Below I have listed several websites that have information about baby blues and postpartum depression. Not only is it important for you to review the information, it is important for your husband and a trusted friend to also know the symptoms. Make sure they understand that if you do suffer from baby blues or depression, you may not be able to make good choices about your medical needs to overcome the symptoms. Let them know that if you actually do suffer from BB or PPD that you will rely on them to help you receive the assistance you need from your obstetrician.

I am not a physician but a mom who thinks you ought to know. Hopefully you will never need this information and you will have a healthy mother/child bond. But just in case, you will have a head start on the knowledge you need to understand baby blues and postpartum depression.

www.womenshealth.gov/faq/depression-pregnancy.cfm

www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS00546

www.emedicinehealth.com/postpartum_depression/page2_em.htm

In the Beginning: Get Well Informed

The baby industry runs a close second to the wedding industry when it comes to over indulgence. Moms-to-be walk into a baby store and are inundated with all of these tiny, adorable "things"; most of which are absolutely useless but, what does and expectant mom know? The the clerk wants you to register and that product gun is so much fun and so easy to use. While the very hormonal and emotion driven mother walks around the store, she adds a "few" things to her cart. Does this sound familiar?

Luckily, when my first child was born they didn't have the product guns to register but I still made a huge dent in the store. Why did I buy all of this stuff? Because the books said I would need it and, I thought it was all so cute. I wish someone had told me that I didn't need it all, and certainly not all at once. My husband and I bought 10 pacifiers for $20 because the book said to buy five and we were worried we might loose some. Our babies NEVER took a pacifier! That's not the only thing we over purchased on but I'm too embarrassed to talk about the others.

So what are expectant mothers to do? Begin by talking to experienced moms and find out what the basic necessities are. During the first month or two your baby will not need much of anything out of the ordinary. Ask moms for suggestions on items they wished they had known about before their baby was born. Ask about products you should use that make parenting easier, for instance Sheet Savers. (This wonderful product lays over the crib sheet and ties on the posts so you don't have to take the whole crib apart to change the fitted sheet.) You can also email me and request my list of basic recommended products (www.mymomsupport.com).

All moms want what's best for our babies and it's hard to resist the cute baby items. But before you buy, get well informed about what your baby really needs.

In the Beginning: Get Well Informed

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had absolutely no experience with a baby. In fact, I had never even held a baby. Needless to say, I knew even less about being pregnant. Sure I read the popular book about expecting a baby but I must not have read it cover to cover because I was very poorly informed about the actual labor, delivery and postpartum experiences.

Even though every birthing experience is different for every woman and every child born, it's helpful to know what to expect from the labor, delivery and postpartum. Understanding accurate information about what you body will be going through before, during and after having your baby is key. Most importantly, you have to listen to the information with the understanding that your delivery may be different but there are commonalities in most births.

So, what do you really need to know? First, find a friend, relative or physician that you feel comfortable talking to about the details the books don't tell you. Then start asking questions.

The answers may scare you or confound you but most importantly, they should inform you. Discuss what you hear with your husband or doctor so that when it comes time for your baby's birth you are well informed and well prepared.

In the Beginning: Find Help

While discussing Momtourage with a friend the other day, she relayed the following story to me and I want to share it with you.

She noticed her new neighbor, who was also a new mom, seemed to always have a baby sitter at the house during the day while she went out. My friend assumed that this new mom wasn't ready to take on motherhood and continued to live her pre-baby lifestyle. At a bible study they both attend, my friend inquired as to whether this new mom was working and that is why she had so many babysitters. Instead, the new mom looked at her, with tears in her eyes, and said, "My husband works so much and travels all of the time and I don't have a network of friends yet, it's the only thing I can do to keep my sanity." At that, my friend was heartbroken that she had thought the worst when really all this new mom needed was someone to talk to or watch the baby for a little bit.

This is such a familiar story for new moms but, this woman at least helped herself by hiring someone who could help her. When you don't have an established network or relatives who can help you with your children, it's time to pay for some help. Consider what things have become very difficult for you to keep up with and resort to hiring someone to help you. Need to get out, hire a babysitter. The house is a disaster, hire a housekeeper once in a while. It's too hard to get a healthy meal ready for dinner, see how the grocery store can help you. The help is there and you need to find it; whether it's free or paid for.

By the way, those of you without children, think about how you can help a new mom. You never know how you could really be a blessing.

In the Beginning: Find Help

Mothering is a very rewarding job however, it can also be a very lonely job. Creating a network of people is the best way for expectant moms to find help and support but, not all expectant moms have a network.

When I was eight months pregnant with my first child my husband and I moved to a new location far away from anyone we knew. Luckily his job provided an instant network but, as with any new group of people, it takes time to get to know each other. By the time our baby was born, we had developed a small but great support network.

There are many reasons that expectant moms may not have support networks: they have moved recently, are shy, don't know how to meet people, and others. More importantly there are so many reasons why expectant moms need support networks. Here are just a few ideas of support networks can help you.

Child care: for date night, a night out with your friends, referrals for daycares/preschools, when you have the flu and your husband is traveling (I am speaking from experience)

Playgroups: great way for parents to interact and children to socialize, learn things from other moms, share experiences, provide help in times of need, support

Hobbies: get out of the house and let dad spend time with your baby, focus on something of interest to you, meet new people

Work (even part-time): talk with other adults, use your brain power, meet new people, earn some spending money

Church or other Spiritual House: provide help in times of need or counseling, peace, meet new people, provide classes usually with childcare, support

Expectant moms really don't know what kind of help they will until their baby actually arrives and then they are so busy with their new baby that it is difficult to find or start a network. If you know a new mom, introduce her to a network of people who could support her. Or, if you are expecting, it's time to start building your support network now. You may have to step outside of your comfort zone but every mom needs all of the support she can get.

In the Beginning: Find Help

Now that you are more inclined to seek out help, let's find another avenue for help.

Food and meal preparation seem to rank right up there as something we know is important and really need but, forget to find a way to make it easier. I've already blogged about how eating healthy during your pregnancy is important to the baby and your body but it also helps increase your energy. Now it's time to talk about how to make grocery shopping and meal preparation easier.

Call your local grocer and ask if they have home delivery or pick up capabilities. There is usually a small charge for this service but you can select your items on-line at your convenience. If you are very particular about your groceries, this may not be ideal for you. However, it can be incredibly helpful to someone who is bedridden or just doesn't feel up to a grocery trip. The difference between home delivery and pick up is very small. Home delivery brings your order directly to your home and most of the time delivers it right to your kitchen. A pick up order means that your groceries will be selected and bagged but you pick them up at the grocery store. Most major drug stores also have online shopping services available and the items are delivered to you through the postal system.

Food preparation assistance may also be needed especially if you are experiencing smell sensitivity, are bedridden or just too pregnant to move around. Begin preparing meals that can be stored in the freezer when you are still feeling comfortable to move around. When you prepare a daily meal, make twice as much and put the extra portion in the freezer. Invite friends over to help you prepare several meals for the freezer or have a baby shower and the gifts are meals you can place right in your freezer. (You will want to bring some coolers filled with ice to that shower.) There are many recipes online and cookbooks that can help you prepare meals for the freezer it's just a matter of looking for them.

Buy your grocery stores homemade meals that just need to be warmed up or from the salad bar. There are also business who create homemade meals for the freezer. Some of these businesses are owned by former restaurant chefs who want to work from home. Many of them also provide meals for special dietary needs. See what's available near you.

When you bring your little one home from the hospital you will want to continue eating healthy but it may not be so easy. Take some time now to discover how to make it easier for you and remember to ask others for help.

In the Beginning: Find Help

Asking for help is not an easy thing to do for most women and too many women feel societal pressure to be a Supermom. By the way, who came up with that term anyway?

For hundreds and thousands of years, women had a multigenerational support network when it came to raising their children. There were times when women rested for 30 days, had their feet rubbed with oil and allowed other women to help care for their baby after giving birth. I seem to have missed that era and my feet were certainly not rubbed with oil after I gave birth! Now days we are such a transient population that many women don't even live within driving distance of their relatives and most likely don't have a big support network where they live. What happened to supporting mothers and how do we get it back? We need to begin to ask for help and willingly give help and now is the time to start.

Let's start by asking your spouse for help. Most husbands want to help now that you are pregnant but they just don't know what to do. You need to be very clear in the type of help you want from your husband---he is not a mindreader. Start by discussing specific ways in which he can help you; doing the laundry, running some extra errands, allowing you time to nap, etc. The most important thing you must remember when you ask him for help is that you are not the gatekeeper. He will do tasks differently than you and you have to be okay with that. If you begin to criticize the way he is helping you, you will lose his willingness to support you. On the other hand, if he doesn't know how to do something such as the laundry, post a simple sheet of directions in the laundry room that he can refer to. Finally, remember to tell him that you appreciate his help.

Asking for help is really not that difficult; it's all in the way you do it. Begin changing the Supermom mentality today.

In the Beginning: Why?

Are you wondering why I wrote the previous blogs? You're pregnant and feeling joyous at the upcoming birth of your child which is exactly what you are supposed to be doing. But, it is also important to take care of yourself during your pregnancy. Mothering is an incredibly stressful and demanding career but as the old saying goes, "when Mom's happy, everyone's happy". For your child to feel joy and happiness, it is important for you to feel good about, and take care of yourself starting right now.

When I was pregnant, I had absolutely no idea what pregnancy and having a child entailed. My support group was limited because I was the first of my friends to have a baby and they knew about as much as I did...NOTHING. Of course I read all of the books and did everything I could to take care of my baby but did nothing to take care of myself. No one really told me how important that would be in raising my children. Looking back, I would have done many things very differently. I know it would have made a difference in my physical and mental well-being after my baby was born.

So now, why did I write this blog? Because I want you to begin looking for people to support you in a variety of ways and I want you to take care of yourself from the inside out. Don't be afraid to ask for and accept help. It doesn't make you need or helpless, it makes you healthy. Another reason for writing this blog was for people who know moms-to-be. Take time to support a pregnant friend or family member by doing something simple to ease their daily stress. We all know pregnant women get lots of advice but what they really need is loving, hands-on support that benefits their daily life.

I'm off to call my pregnant friend to see if I can watch her oldest child while she gets some needed rest. What can you do?

Next in the series: In the Beginning: Find Help

In the Beginning: Sleep

Once your child is born, sleep will become a luxury. I'm not suggesting that you start making up for the sleep you will loose when your little one arrives but, you need to start listening to your body now.

Begin your sleep routine early in your pregnancy by setting a regular bedtime and get up at the same time each day. As your pregnancy progresses, you need to be aware that your body will need more restful time. Give your body what it needs and adjust your sleep times as needed.

Towards the end of your pregnancy you will be getting up several times during the night to use the bathroom and, you will loose the restful sleep you have been used to before you were pregnant. Because you are not sleeping well, it's important to take time during the day to rest or sleep. Your body is preparing itself for labor.

If you are pregnant and have children, find someone to watch your children while you take some time to rest during the day. If you know a pregnant woman who has children, offer to watch her children while she sleeps. Be ready to insist if she says no.

Those of you who are pregnant for the first time, enjoy this time to sleep. You will never sleep the same after your child is born.

In the Beginning: Food

Now that I'm back from vacation and have Internet access, I'm ready to blog again.

I have been blogging on the theme of "Teach Your Children Well" which starts with you. By setting a good example for your children you will not only improve your health and wellness but also your child's.

Food is a big part of pregnancy. Moms enjoy sharing their pregnancy cravings, some women think they can eat anything and as much as they want because they are pregnant, morning sickness can effect your eating and the extra weight can be difficult to lose after your baby is born. Food is a very important topic to discuss with your physician and something women should think about and create a plan for during their pregnancy.

I am petite woman with a very fast metabolism and when I was pregnant with my first child I didn't think about what I ate. I had severe morning sickness and carried crackers or baby cookies in coat pockets, my purse, in the car, etc. Once the morning sickness subsided, the eating frenzy began! My husband likes to tell the story of how I ate an Arby's meal on the way home from work then polished off 1/2 of a large pizza. Funny yes, healthy no! During this pregnancy, I gained over 40 pounds. On a person of my height, I looked like I had a swallowed more than a few basketballs.

Looking back on all of my pregnancies, I wished I had devised a plan for how I ate during the nine months. Eating healthier during my pregnancies would have given me more energy, I would have had less back pain from the extra unnecessary weight, and would have had less difficulty losing my baby weight. Seeking support from my husband would also have helped my eating habits. Since I didn't have an eating plan my husband went right along with me, allowing me to eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, as much as I wanted. I'm sure my hormones would have caused me to scream at him if he suggested I eat fruit instead of a huge bowl of ice cream but, if I had a plan, his support would have been easier to accept.

As a mom-to-be, take some time to think through your food choices for you and your baby during your pregnancy. Find a few people to be your support network and let them know about your plan. If you know a pregnant woman, support her by bringing her some cut up fruit or a healthy dinner. Even making your own healthy choices when you are eating with a mom-to-be can be a healthy way to support her.

Your plan doesn't have to be formal or written and it should allow for flexibility. Create a support network and inform them of your plan and how you would like them to help you. Eating well is good for you and good for your baby.

In the Beginning: Exercise

Most women dread this word whether they are pregnant or not. Exercise. We always find some excuse as to why we can't exercise; I'm too tired, I don't have any exercise clothes, I don't have time, I don't like to exercise and the list goes on. I'm sure I've used all of the excuses to get out of exercising.

Now that you are pregnant, it's a good time to put all of those excuses behind you and start an exercise routine. Exercise doesn't have to be difficult or take a long but most of all it has to be fun. Ten minutes a day is a good place to start. Try putting on your favorite music and dance around the house, take a walk with a friend or your husband, spend some time stretching, or window shopping in the mall. Even magazines have ideas for simple exercises you can do in ten minutes or less.

We all know the benefits of exercise for yourself and your unborn child. You will be happy that you took only ten minutes out of your day to energize yourself and improve the health of your child.

In The Beginning: Slow Down

Pregnancies vary for all women. Some women have smooth, uneventful pregnancies and others have difficult ones. No matter which type of pregnancy you have, it's time to slow down from the very beginning. Your life will never be the same after you have your baby whether it is your first child or your fifth.

When I Googled "slow down during pregnancy" I received several hits; slow down weight gain, your hormones slow down, baby's bowel movements slow down, slow down at the end of your pregnancy. There was absolutely nothing on slowing down and smelling the roses during your entire pregnancy.

Here are things I could have slowed down on when I was pregnant.

Work

My career as a teacher was very fulfilling and gratifying and I enjoyed watching my students learn. However, because I am so right brained, I spent hours and hours creating intricate ways to display my students work, making every worksheet and note home "cute" with just the right clip art and headings. I also lacked a sound organizational plan which caused extra hours of work just to get organized. Looking back I could have performed my job with the precision it needed by sticking with the basics and making an organizational plan and sticking to it.

Trying To Be Perfect

None of my pregnancies were particularly easy and nine months seems like an eternity when you are sick most of the time. In addition to working too much I spent too much time worrying about being the perfect mother and appearing as if I had everything together in my life. Looking back I wish I had slowed down enough to enjoy the moments with my husband and children before each new baby arrived. Our lives are never the same after a new baby joins the clan.

Guilt

I have a real knack for feeling guilty. When I was tired from my pregnancy or from being up all night with a child, I felt guilty for taking time to rest or nap. I felt I had to do this or that or read, color and take my kids to the playground all at once. Looking back I wished I had slowed down and taken time for myself. Yes, it sometimes seems like a guilty pleasure but, in caring for ourselves, we show our children the importance of taking care of our body and it creates healthier relationships with our family.

Now that my family is complete, I wish I had those times back to enjoy. But because of these life lessons, I have become a better mother and find little ways to help other mothers enjoy their pregnancy. What can you share with a mom-to-be that helps her slow down and enjoy each moment before her baby arrives?

Teach Our Children Well: In the Beginning

The beginning of being a mother starts the moment you become pregnant. As an expectant mom your immediate thoughts are that you want to take care of your child to ensure that your baby is healthy and happy. But did you know that it all begins with taking care of youself?

When I was pregnant with my first child, I read about how important it was to rest, eat healthy, and exercise however, I really didn't take it to heart and I didn't have a network of other women to encourage me to change my lifestyle. I had always been petite, loved to eat and always had too much to do to be able to rest or exercise. Unfortunately, it all took a toll on me. I gained a lot of weight, went back to work too soon, and was constantly stressed and exhausted. It took me years to recover from the exhaustion, anxiety and constant struggle to keep up as a mother and wife. Worst of all, I didn't take the time to enjoy my daughter's infancy stage and felt like a complete failure as a mother.

Somehow, when we become a mother, we begin to think of ourselves last when really we need to put ourselves first. So let's start at the very beginning; the first step in becoming a happy and healthy mom...Simplify!

Even if you are in your first trimester, begin to simplify your life right now. For some women this could mean putting off the housework, not taking on anymore activities, bringing less work home from the office, taking a walk outside as opposed to going to the noisy gym, or just decluttering a room. Another way many moms-to-be get overwhelmed is by searching for information about babies in books and on the internet. Simplify this process by finding one baby book or website

that works for you. Babycenter.com is one of my favorites for comprehensive and quality information. Once you register (it's free), they automatically email you information that is relevant only to the stage you are at in your pregnancy.

Start simplifying today by creating a list of things that seem to be causing you stress. Choose one thing from that list to simplifying and practice it for a week or two so that it is ingrained in your daily life. Then select another task to simplify and begin to practice it. By the time your baby arrives you will have taken steps to simplify your life so that you can enjoy your beautiful, new baby.

Teach Our Children Well

I have decided to change the way I blog. Instead of selecting random topics to blog about, I am going deeply focus on raising our children through multiple postings. The overall theme of the blogs will be "Teach Our Children Well" and will discuss topics on raising our children from before they are born/infancy, to the toddler years, preschool and into the elementary school years. Even though there will be a new posting everyday, this endeavor will take many weeks and even months to complete. I hope that you will add your comments, thoughts and suggestions to the blog that can be shared with other mothers.

Everything we do and say as parents sets an example for our children and molds them into the adult they will become. And although you may be past the stage I am blogging about, take the time to read the post and pass the information on to a mother you know who may be struggling at this stage. Mothers do not need to mother alone. We need to support and encourage one another every step of the way. Every mother needs a Momtourage.

Getting Rid of the Junk Mail

After being on vacation for 10 days with my family there were two things I dreaded when I returned home; laundry and mail. I knew the laundry could wait, but as with many previous experiences a large USPS bin would be on my porch overflowing with mail when we returned from vacation. Hopefully, changes I made before we left would alleviate the mass of junk mail that overwhelmed our small pile of regular mail when we arrived home.

Several months before we left, I made a decision to cut down on the amount of junk mail we received. I considered this decision as my little part for saving the earth but more importantly, this decision was about saving my time and being more organized. As with any organization project, it took some time on the front end to save me a lot of time on the back end but it was worth the effort.

During the first week of my new project, I tore off the covers of all of the catalogs I received and wrote the customer number, if I had one, in the bottom corner. I also took all of the junk mail out of their envelopes and kept only the cover letter. The catalog covers and cover letters from the week were kept in a pile on my desk. At the end of the week I sat down at my computer and began to take my name off all of the distribution lists for the catalogs and junk mail. I started by writing a short note requesting to be removed from the mail and email distribution lists, including my address, email address and customer number if available. I copied the note then went to the websites for each piece in my pile, found the "unsubscribe" or "contact us" tab and pasted my note in the appropriate box. When I had finished this process for each piece, I recycled the cover letters and placed the catalog covers in a binder so I could have a record of the catalogs I use. 

This whole process took me about an hour for 34 pieces of junk mail. The next day, I received 34 emails (which took some time to remove) that told me the company had received my email and would discontinue contacting me . Each week meant I had some new sites to contact but the number of these sites rapidly dwindled over the next few months. All in all, the whole process took about 3 hours to contact over 70 sites.

So, after ten days away from home, I went to the post office to pick up my mail. Instead of bringing me a large postal bin, the postal employee brought me only an arm load of mail. And all of the mail was relevant except for seven pieces of junk mail!

The time I spent at the beginning of this project was well worth the time I am saving now. 

Grocery Game Update

It's been almost five months since I began playing the Grocery Game and it's time for an update... 

Just some quick background information... I have a family of 5, shop weekly at two large grocery stores and two national drug stores and pay $25 a month for the service. I am careful to strictly follow my list and don't make many impulse purchases. This program includes savings on produce, meat, cleaning products, health and beauty, as well as national brands. And, it is not just prepackaged food. Dinner planning has become much easier because I have so much to choose from and don't have to make last minute runs to the store. My kids also like that they have fun snacks to serve their friends when they come over.

Here's what's happened for my family.

The first 4 weeks were a little time consuming because I was learning how to use the Grocery Game and catching up on clipping coupons. I would spend two hours looking at the sale lists online, selecting the products, printing the lists, and finding coupons. (I only use the coupons found in the newspaper and do not clip coupons online.) Since stockpiling items is part of successfully playing the Grocery Game, it took me longer initially because my lists for the stores I visit were much longer which caused me to spend more time in the stores. But checking out is where the payoff (literally) began! 

The site said that at 12 weeks I would be on the same coupon clipping schedule as the Grocery Game and shopping trips would be easier. They were right on. At 12 weeks, the length of my shopping lists fell dramatically and I had stockpiled so much food that I didn't need to buy as much each week. Also, because the stores in my area are close together, I can now go to four stores and shop for my groceries in one hour; thereby drastically cutting down the time that I spend in the stores. Not only that, I spend, on average, $100 a week for groceries and I have more food than ever! Last week I bought 46 items and only spent $89. The purchase included four packages of chicken breasts and several items that weren't even on sale. I also saved $44 on that trip! I have estimated that the savings is similar to receiving a $3-4,000 raise during the year. But, my favorite part is when I lock up the register at one store because I save so much money.

One drawback is that we may not always have the exact product that everyone likes but it gives us a chance to try new things. Before the Grocery Game, even though we spent a lot of money on food, there seemed to be very little of it. My kids would eat more often because the treats would be eaten first and they wanted to be sure to get some before it disappeared. Now, having this much food in the house prevents my children from over snacking and they make better choices. Who would have thought?

I have looked at other grocery saving websites but find this one the easiest and least time consuming to use. Now, every time I save money my kids ask me if I'm playing the Grocery Game. To try the Grocery Game visit www.grocerygame.com.

It's What's On The Inside That Matters

Yesterday I wrote about the wonderful lesson to be learned by watching Susan Boyle's performance on Britain's Got Talent however, how do we teach younger children to look for the inner beauty in others? The following example is how I taught my classroom students the importance of looking beyond appearance to discover people's real gifts. 

First, select two boxes that are the same size. Fill one box with some candy or treats and the other box with rocks. When you shake the boxes, the sounds should be about the same. Next, take a brown paper bag, crumble it, spill things on it and make it as messy as possible. Wrap the box of candy with this paper. Then, take some pretty wrapping paper, ribbon and bows and wrap the box of rocks. Once both boxes are wrapped, show them to your child and ask him which gift he would like to open and why. Most children will select the beautifully wrapped box thinking that there must be something really special in there. After they have opened it and find the rocks, let them open the messy package and find the candy. Now is the perfect time to start a conversation on the importance of inner beauty.

This is a simple lesson that will have an impact your child and teach the virtues of compassion and respect that will last a lifetime.

A Simple Lesson From a Simple Woman

I have been wanting to write about Susan Boyle ever since she became a worldwide sensation a few weeks ago. She has made a tremendous impact on my life and she doesn't even know it. Who is Susan Boyle and why has she made such an impact, you ask? Susan Boyle was the contestant on Britain's Got Talent who was heckled by the audience when she walked out on stage to sing in this talent competition. I admit, I was very skeptical that she could sing at all just by looking at her dowdy appearance. However, being a mom who abhors teasing, I was appalled by the audiences reaction to her as she took the stage. When Simon Cowell asked her what she was going to sing (I Dreamed a Dream, from Les Mis) and what singer she wanted to be compared to (Elaine Page), my heart began to sink for this underdog. I was sure she was going to be the William Hung of Britain and I certainly didn't want that to happen to the seemingly sweet and unassuming woman. Then, the music began, a hush fell over the audience and I held my breath. The song that came forth was absolutely incredible and brought the audience to their feet in a roar of applause. I didn't even know this woman, but my heart began to fill with joy for her and my eyes filled with tears for this amazing lesson she taught us.

Now Susan Boyle is known by millions, but I stop and think how many Susan Boyles do I come in contact with every day. This simple Scottish woman has reminded me that everyone has a gift and it doesn't matter how the gift is wrapped, just that we need to look inside the package to find the real beauty. A simple lesson, by a simple woman; how much more simple can it get?

Your Child's First Teacher

We know that we are our child's first teacher, but understanding the long term impact of our teaching won't be seen until our children are grown. The most important idea that we need to keep in mind is how we can be an effective teacher to our children.

My friend is a business coach who works with owners, executives and  managers assisting them in strengthening their leadership skills. Last week he wrote a blog about becoming a better leader and teacher in the business world. As I read his blog I compared it to the skills we need as parents and teachers to our children. Teaching children effectively now will provide them with the skills they need to become effective leaders and teachers in the future.

I encourage you to read his blog at http://uncommonsenseforleaders.blogspot.com.

Creativity at Work

I started my creative embroidery project and it started a flurry of creativity in the house. My two daughters, ages 13 and 7, have begun their own projects. My oldest daughter decided that she wanted me to embroider shirts for her and her best friend. Although I didn't want this to be screen related creativity, she found a really cute clip art that she wanted to use for the shirts. Once that was complete, she began to make a friendship bracelet from the multitude of embroidery floss laying about. My youngest daughter wanted to try her hand at embroidering also. Because I thought ahead, I gave her a piece of burlap, an embroidery hoop, a large needle and access to all of the floss. She thought she was really grown up. I was just going to let her make stitches but she surprised me with stitching a castle out of purple thread. Then she put orange and pink together and started to stitch a sunset. Next she moved on to the grass. She was so proud of her work that she brought it to class for sharing. Some of the boys even asked her to let them take a turn stitching. She was so proud. 

While all of us girls were working away in the family room, my son (11) decided to join us. His creative specialty is creative writing and drawing. He sat with us and asked if I would stitch a pillow for him of a golf course hole he designed. Quickly he grabbed a piece of paper and pencil and started in on his drawing. 

It has been a long time since we all sat in one room, without the TV or computer on, talking, laughing and sharing what we were doing. One small step for mom, one giant leap for the Mott Family.

Fostering Creativity in Children

A friend of mine is working on a presentation for her preschool about fostering creativity in children and I told her I would look into the topic to see what I could find that might help her. I thought I was fairly knowledgeable about about creativity since creativity is a high priority in our house. But a little internet searching led me to a fabulous book that I never expected to find. The book is The Creative Family by Amanda Blake Soule and it brought back wonderful childhood memories of exploration, imagination and discovery. Remember staying outside all day long, making forts, playing games and watching the clouds? Reading this book reminded that creativity is not just art projects; it's walking in nature, making up stories, creating original gifts, and much, much more. This book provided so many simple ideas for our electronic obsessed children that I could hardly decide where to begin. I decided to set an example by doing something creative myself. The project I chose involves taking one of my children's drawings of her and her friend and embroidering it onto a piece of fabric. Then I'm going to sew it onto a t-shirt to send to her friend who lives 1500 miles away. Hopefully it will turn out as cute as I'm imagining. But really, that's not the idea. The idea is for my children to see me being creative and encouraging them to try a new creative outlet rather than sitting in front of a screen. I hope it works!