I've never been one to hide nutritional nuggets in my kids' food to improve their dietary intake ...until now.

Our nine year old daughter is very small for her size and is often asked if she is in kindergarten or first grade. Now, I'm no giant, but it's clear she is quite small and her height is a very sensitive subject with her. We have visited an endocrinologist, been through growth hormone testing and tried drinking milkshakes with every meal. So far, we've discovered that she does not have a growth hormone deficiency and that she really doesn't like milkshakes as much as I do. And, although we let her eat whenever and whatever she wants, as prescribed by her doctor, my husband and I decided to limit the sweet intake and try to get her to eat better. After six years, I think we're finally getting somewhere and it didn't take me hiding fruits and vegetables in her food.

I'm a firm believer in children knowing what they eat, what it's called and what it looks like. But now, I've broken my rule and have been hiding tofu in many of our family meals unbeknownst to my entire family. I've made tofu/fruit smoothies, added it to fried rice, sprinkled it in pasta sauce and any other way I can disguise it. The funny thing is, my family has been raving about my cooking lately! So why should I continue to keep this a secret? Why shouldn't I? My daughter is getting some needed lean proteins which I hope will benefit her medically, and my family is also eating healthier. Isn't that what a mom is supposed to do?

We will continue to monitor our daughter's growth and we'll see if the tofu makes a difference. Will I disguise other foods? Probably not because she has a pretty good intake of fruits and vegetables already.

Back-to-School Letters

My kids start school on Wednesday; a day we all look forward to after the first blissful week of summer vacation is over. It's not that we don't like being around each other, we all just love structure in our day even if it includes scheduled lazy time. It's just our personalities and we function better with a routine.

Now that the day is fast approaching and we've done the school shopping, the kids know who their teachers are going to be, we've decided what breakfast will be on the first day there's still one thing I like to do at the beginning of each school year...write a letter.

Because we moved so much when our children were young, it seemed as if they were in a new school every year so I began the tradition of writing a letter to their teacher on the first day of school. Now I know most of the teachers probably didn't even read the letter because they thought I was a pushy parent or they wanted to make their own assessment of my child, and I was okay with either reason. Since I had been a teacher for many years, I made certain that the letter was not pushy or caused the teacher to think that I had an agenda. However, the most interesting thing about the letter was that writing the words allowed me to get a clearer look at each of my children and their year-to-year accomplishments. It also turned out to be a wonderful way to see how each of my children grew each year and how our lives changed with new additions to the family, moves, and every day life.

Teachers do not expect, and may not even want, a letter from you on the first day of school. But, if done correctly, you will find the simple act of writing a letter to be one of the most rewarding acts of parenting.

My letter included paragraphs on the following information:

1. Welcome back to teacher
2. Information about where your child fits in the family and their personality
3. General information about your child's academic abilities (be honest, but don't go overboard)
4. Hobbies or activities that your child enjoys
5. Information about my husband and me (jobs, how we could help in or out of the classroom, our belief that the teacher is in charge and our expectations for our children's behavior in the classroom)
6. Wishes for a successful year and contact information

In the Beginning: Get Well Informed

It has taken me a long time to write this blog, and I think that's because it hits so close to home. Baby blues and postpartum depression are very real and something every expectant mom should know about before they delivering their baby.

When your baby finally arrives, everyone will be thrilled with the new addition to your family....except you. Don't let this bother you. Most mothers, and fathers, aren't instantly infatuated with their new child. The media has warped our sense of motherhood and the reality of new mothers' connections to their babies. However, it is important for all mothers to be aware of healthy and unhealthy signs of attachment after their child is born.

While researching this topic, I discovered that I actually suffered from baby blues after my first child and postpartum depression after my second child. My doctor gave me medicine after my first delivery but didn't really explain what the medicine was for and I discontinued using it after I "felt better". After delivering my second child, it took me five months and a lot of scary symptoms before I went looking for help. Once I found the help I needed, I finally got my life back to normal. However, until this blog I never knew that the symptoms I was exhibiting were actually signs of postpartum depression. I wish had learned more about this aspect of pregnancy before I delivered my babies.

Below I have listed several websites that have information about baby blues and postpartum depression. Not only is it important for you to review the information, it is important for your husband and a trusted friend to also know the symptoms. Make sure they understand that if you do suffer from baby blues or depression, you may not be able to make good choices about your medical needs to overcome the symptoms. Let them know that if you actually do suffer from BB or PPD that you will rely on them to help you receive the assistance you need from your obstetrician.

I am not a physician but a mom who thinks you ought to know. Hopefully you will never need this information and you will have a healthy mother/child bond. But just in case, you will have a head start on the knowledge you need to understand baby blues and postpartum depression.

www.womenshealth.gov/faq/depression-pregnancy.cfm

www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS00546

www.emedicinehealth.com/postpartum_depression/page2_em.htm

In the Beginning: Get Well Informed

The baby industry runs a close second to the wedding industry when it comes to over indulgence. Moms-to-be walk into a baby store and are inundated with all of these tiny, adorable "things"; most of which are absolutely useless but, what does and expectant mom know? The the clerk wants you to register and that product gun is so much fun and so easy to use. While the very hormonal and emotion driven mother walks around the store, she adds a "few" things to her cart. Does this sound familiar?

Luckily, when my first child was born they didn't have the product guns to register but I still made a huge dent in the store. Why did I buy all of this stuff? Because the books said I would need it and, I thought it was all so cute. I wish someone had told me that I didn't need it all, and certainly not all at once. My husband and I bought 10 pacifiers for $20 because the book said to buy five and we were worried we might loose some. Our babies NEVER took a pacifier! That's not the only thing we over purchased on but I'm too embarrassed to talk about the others.

So what are expectant mothers to do? Begin by talking to experienced moms and find out what the basic necessities are. During the first month or two your baby will not need much of anything out of the ordinary. Ask moms for suggestions on items they wished they had known about before their baby was born. Ask about products you should use that make parenting easier, for instance Sheet Savers. (This wonderful product lays over the crib sheet and ties on the posts so you don't have to take the whole crib apart to change the fitted sheet.) You can also email me and request my list of basic recommended products (www.mymomsupport.com).

All moms want what's best for our babies and it's hard to resist the cute baby items. But before you buy, get well informed about what your baby really needs.

In the Beginning: Get Well Informed

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had absolutely no experience with a baby. In fact, I had never even held a baby. Needless to say, I knew even less about being pregnant. Sure I read the popular book about expecting a baby but I must not have read it cover to cover because I was very poorly informed about the actual labor, delivery and postpartum experiences.

Even though every birthing experience is different for every woman and every child born, it's helpful to know what to expect from the labor, delivery and postpartum. Understanding accurate information about what you body will be going through before, during and after having your baby is key. Most importantly, you have to listen to the information with the understanding that your delivery may be different but there are commonalities in most births.

So, what do you really need to know? First, find a friend, relative or physician that you feel comfortable talking to about the details the books don't tell you. Then start asking questions.

The answers may scare you or confound you but most importantly, they should inform you. Discuss what you hear with your husband or doctor so that when it comes time for your baby's birth you are well informed and well prepared.

In the Beginning: Find Help

While discussing Momtourage with a friend the other day, she relayed the following story to me and I want to share it with you.

She noticed her new neighbor, who was also a new mom, seemed to always have a baby sitter at the house during the day while she went out. My friend assumed that this new mom wasn't ready to take on motherhood and continued to live her pre-baby lifestyle. At a bible study they both attend, my friend inquired as to whether this new mom was working and that is why she had so many babysitters. Instead, the new mom looked at her, with tears in her eyes, and said, "My husband works so much and travels all of the time and I don't have a network of friends yet, it's the only thing I can do to keep my sanity." At that, my friend was heartbroken that she had thought the worst when really all this new mom needed was someone to talk to or watch the baby for a little bit.

This is such a familiar story for new moms but, this woman at least helped herself by hiring someone who could help her. When you don't have an established network or relatives who can help you with your children, it's time to pay for some help. Consider what things have become very difficult for you to keep up with and resort to hiring someone to help you. Need to get out, hire a babysitter. The house is a disaster, hire a housekeeper once in a while. It's too hard to get a healthy meal ready for dinner, see how the grocery store can help you. The help is there and you need to find it; whether it's free or paid for.

By the way, those of you without children, think about how you can help a new mom. You never know how you could really be a blessing.

In the Beginning: Find Help

Mothering is a very rewarding job however, it can also be a very lonely job. Creating a network of people is the best way for expectant moms to find help and support but, not all expectant moms have a network.

When I was eight months pregnant with my first child my husband and I moved to a new location far away from anyone we knew. Luckily his job provided an instant network but, as with any new group of people, it takes time to get to know each other. By the time our baby was born, we had developed a small but great support network.

There are many reasons that expectant moms may not have support networks: they have moved recently, are shy, don't know how to meet people, and others. More importantly there are so many reasons why expectant moms need support networks. Here are just a few ideas of support networks can help you.

Child care: for date night, a night out with your friends, referrals for daycares/preschools, when you have the flu and your husband is traveling (I am speaking from experience)

Playgroups: great way for parents to interact and children to socialize, learn things from other moms, share experiences, provide help in times of need, support

Hobbies: get out of the house and let dad spend time with your baby, focus on something of interest to you, meet new people

Work (even part-time): talk with other adults, use your brain power, meet new people, earn some spending money

Church or other Spiritual House: provide help in times of need or counseling, peace, meet new people, provide classes usually with childcare, support

Expectant moms really don't know what kind of help they will until their baby actually arrives and then they are so busy with their new baby that it is difficult to find or start a network. If you know a new mom, introduce her to a network of people who could support her. Or, if you are expecting, it's time to start building your support network now. You may have to step outside of your comfort zone but every mom needs all of the support she can get.