Does Size Really Matter?

What do you say when your 9 year old daughter wants to play basketball? In our house, our mouths say, “Go for it!” but our hearts say, “Don’t you want to try something else?” Of all the sports she wants to try, basketball is definitely not the first sport we’d encourage her to try.

Let’s just say our daughter is no Lebron James or Yao Min when it comes to stature. She just reaches three and a half feet tall and the scale barely tips at 47 pounds. For those of you who don’t know how big a 4^th typical fourth grader is, let’s just say she is on the extreme petite side.

She’s always been small, but her personality, self perception and voice have always been huge and made her seem larger than life. Ever since she was a little girl she has been perceived by others to be several years younger than her chronological age and have treated her as such. This has been a source of many tears for her and heartache for us. Through all of this though, she has never doubted her abilities; but at times, we have and this is one of those times.

Over the years we have encouraged her to try dance, gymnastics, swimming, golf, musical instruments and tae kwon do; all activities where size doesn’t matter. She didn’t really take to any of them, but we had her continue tae kwon do for exercise, socialization and it was something she could do year round. As a parent, I would say she doesn’t put a lot of effort into her practice and it’s frustrating because I see dollar signs being wasted every time she works out.

So, when she said she wanted to take up basketball because she wanted to play basketball with the boys at recess, we considered her size and her lack of effort in other activities and we said, “Okay”. Yes, we said, “okay” and then for the next two months we began worrying how her self-esteem would be damaged from this experience and how it would be another waste of money. To provide her with a little head start, we enlisted our older children to play basketball with her at the neighbor’s hoop before she started on her new team.

Last night was her first practice. When I walked into the carpeted gym and saw the hoops hanging 9 feet off the ground and her teammates who were six to twelve inches taller than my daughter, my heart sank. She didn’t know any of these girls but, in her usual bigger-than-life style, she trotted over, basketball under her arm, to meet her new coach and teammates.

The practice started with running, high knees and sliding. So far, so good, from my point of view. In fact, she was more coordinated and some of the girls. Next, dribbling and passing. Her dribbling could use some work but her passing wasn’t too bad. Whew! Now it was time to shoot some baskets into the hoops hovering nine feet in the air. First shot…she made it! Not one, not two, but lots of shots! She could actually shoot the ball high enough to make a basket. I started to watch her more intently and I could see muscles that I never realized she had. One of the coaches even asked me if she was also a gymnast because she was so strong. I told him, “No, she does tae kwon do.” That was it! Although she appeared to be lackadaisical in her tae kwon do classes, she had been building strength, endurance and coordination I never knew she had!

After practice I told my daughter about my previous concerns and how proud I was of her effort, coordination and how strength. Her face beamed with a smile that reached from ear to ear and her little chest puffed out in pride. She never doubted herself or her abilities despite her small size. But I did.

My daughter taught me more about her in one hour than I could have learned in a week. I am so proud of her and I will never underestimate her abilities again. She taught me that it isn’t about size, but all about heart.